Quarantine and Card Games (So That We Don't Completely Lose Our Minds!)

Shehla: Hi, everyone. May peace be on you all, and welcome to another episode of I'm A Muslim (And That's Okay!). Again, it's Thursday night, 10:35. That seems to be the magic number, because [giggles] figures-- Well, in quarantine, you have to be recording the podcast at the dead of night some time when everybody's asleep, and there's peace and quiet. But y’all tell me, how's the quarantine treating you? All I can say is, uff, it's been a long 10 years. [laughs] It sure seems that way. But Texas has only been on lockdown for about two weeks, maybe a little more. And gosh, you really, really begin to appreciate all the teachers. It's not like the kids aren't having online school and stuff. Yeah, sort of. It's not full-time classes for at least one of my kids, and the other one's basically getting a free rein on everything. He doesn't have any classes. He's a first grader. His teacher is really nice. Sends all the resources and everything. He's got his really fancy, schmancy educational games. My God, they're so fancy. 

There's one he's playing these days. I think it's called Prodigy. I was just looking at it, and it's like this RPG game that has math problems. When you solve those math problems, you progress ahead. I was looking at this and I'm like, “I used to game not so much anymore.” I wasn't like a serious gamer like my brother is. He's got all this high-tech stuff. But anyway, point is, so I've played all the classic games, Mario, Final Fantasy, and all of these things, and I was looking at my son's Prodigy game, and it's like, “Oh, my God, this has better graphics than Final Fantasy 2 or 3 or 4,” whatever you want to say. It's funny. But I'm really grateful for those games or whatever you want to call them, educational apps, because they really do a good job teaching my kids and keeping them out of my hair for, I don't know, half an hour. I'm trying to limit them about how much they get. And if it was up to my older son, he'd be on it forever and ever and ever until the end of time, but can't have him do that. 

Yeah, it's a struggle to keep the demons entertained. [laughs] I know, it's so bad. I gave birth to them. They're my children, but it's hard. And you do appreciate all the hard work the teachers put in to try to keep them in line. It's so awful. My older son, he has these online classes. And unfortunately, his teachers are not as well versed in technology. These Zoom and Skype meetings as the kids they're teaching, it's so bad. My son is, he's like his mom, probably the biggest square in existence. But the other kids, they can be really disruptive. He was telling me that on Skype, like, somebody kept throwing kids out, even the teacher out of the meeting, and I was like, “Gosh, why do these kids know how to do this?” They take control of screen sharing on Zoom. It's so terrible. [laughs] They're a handful, and these poor teachers have to deal with all of this. It's terrible. But yeah. 

For me as a parent, it's A, keeping them entertained, and B, trying to keep them from eating us out of the house. It's not just that they're boys. It is what it is. It's boredom eating. That's what they're doing these days. And yeah, I don't blame them. If I didn't have IBS, that's what I would probably be doing too, but it doesn't work that way. They are basically whatever few seconds they have and they don't know what to do with it. They're in the pantry waiting it or trying to figure out what next sugar buzz they can get. So awful. But yeah, I'm trying to figure out how to keep them entertained. You could go the traditional route. I saw a lot of moms and kudos to them, if they can get their kids to follow this. 

You see them on Facebook all the time. These really nice boards up, and it's got these time slots all really well organized. 08:00 AM, we'll have a nice breakfast. 09:00 AM, we'll do reading time. 10:00 AM, we'll do this. And I think, “Oh, no, that's never going to work out with any of mine.” If it works, that's awesome. I get it. Kids have a certain structure they'll follow and it keeps them focused. But I don't know, I somehow can't get my kids to do anything at a certain time. I don't know, maybe it's my failure as a parent. I don't know, but I try. I haven't been able to create a schedule, but I have been able to teach them cards. I'm very proud of that. [giggles] I know it's weird. 

But I come from a background of lots of card players. And although, I don't know the heavy stuff like poker or anything, but my mom taught us a lot of card games. And not just like go fish and stuff like that, but she taught me Gin Rummy, she taught me like trump. I don't know, what do you call that in the US? But we used to call it trump. So I probably find that out, what's it called in the US? And she taught us-- what else? Black Queen. And yeah, it's not called Black Queen in the US. It's called Hearts. So yeah, I know how to play Hearts and all of these things my mom taught me. 

I remember when we were younger, every Saturday, we used to congregate at my maternal grandparents’ house. And all the older people, like my mom, dad, my grandfather, my uncles, they would congregate around this table, and they'd be playing multiple rounds of what they called the card game, Sweep. And again, I don't know if this was like a British term or if it's a US term, but they used to play it. We would be like running around making noise, but they would have these intense card rounds of sweep and there'd be lots of laughing, and pointing each other out that they're cheating, and stuff like that. Yeah, that all those card games that my mom taught me. And I was like, “Hmm.” So found me a deck of cards and I was like, “Let's see what I can teach my kids.” 

Of course, they're a six-year-old, nine-year-old. Can't really teach them Gin Rummy. It's not something that they'll be able to focus on at this point. But I taught them, first of all, the very standard Go Fish. So they know Go Fish. We started with that. And I taught them Snap. And there is another game-- And again, it was funny. I was going to link up some YouTube videos of some of these games in the description, but I couldn't find the one that I knew that most people might not be aware of. It's a game called Joker, and I tried searching it up on YouTube, but I never got any English videos that showed the game, Joker. Only videos from South Asia. And it's probably a game that we came up with and only we know of, but the rest of the world doesn't. I don't know how that is, but I could not find any English videos. I was like, “Eh, that's no good.” But I taught my kids, Joker. Maybe I'll get into that in one of the other podcasts. But it's pretty simple. The rules are simple and the kids really enjoy it. 

And the other game I taught them was Bluff. And again, I'm not sure if this is an American term or just a British term, but basically, all you're doing is lying and trying to rid of all the cards in your hand. So I taught them Go Fish, Joker, and Bluff, and what else did I teach them? Four games. Oh, anyway. So taught them cards. So that's what we're doing in some of the time in the middle. And again, if anybody has expectations that any of the things, activities that they've planned is going to keep their kids entertained for more than, oh, I don't know, five minutes-- They're in for a real shocker because that's not how kids work. [giggles] 

I know some kids who can be entertained for hours on things like word searches, and maybe puzzle books. I used to be one of them, because obviously, I was there-- At time of the dinosaurs, internet was not there. That's all we had. We used to have these Where's Waldo? Books, and we used to have word searches. I even did Mensa books for fun. Yeah, that's how big of a nerd I was, and still am probably. And that used to keep me entertained for hours. But I cannot imagine my children being entertained by any of those for more than a few minutes. I can't even get my children to read. I was an avid reader. I would go through a book like in two days, and then I would start another book, another book, and I can't get either of my kids to read. So I can't keep them entertained for more than a few minutes, so I wish I was some help in that area. 

But card games is one thing you guys probably could try with your kids, and then the rest is screen time. I'm sorry. It is what it is. We try to take them out for walks and stuff in the evening when the weather is cooler, because it's really, really hot in Texas. We had our winter last week, and then now it's blazing hot summer now, and it's probably going to get worse. The great thing is, now with the quarantine, most people not going to work. I think the great blessing is is that most families can spend time together when originally that they couldn't. I know that causes other problems. You do have to work to be able to sustain your family. That is how it is. I know that many people must be struggling at a time like this, and I hope the stimulus bill gives some hope to people. I'm hoping to the right people, not the wrong people, the people who need it the most. It's the people who rely on every single paycheck, not just one humongous paycheck at the end of every month. 

So I get that that not having a job is obviously very stressful for a lot of families, but it is a time when we can really reconnect with our kids. And that's what me and my family are doing. I've been biking for a couple of months, but my younger one, he really, really wanted to join me and I was like, “Oh, you don't have a bike.” So we got him a bike, and now he's on his training wheels and trying to really-- He's really working hard at it. Before when he had school, the problem was-- I don't know if US schools were always this way. But when I was growing up in Pakistan, our schools were never this long. They really weren't. That's what I found most distressing about schools here. I understand why the schools are so long, because many parents do have to work long hours to make ends meet. And the longer the child stays at school, the less they would have to pay for child care. I completely get that. 

It's not something that I hold parents responsible for. It's not something I was used to, because our schools ended when I was growing up in Pakistan at 01:30. That's literally how it was. I was home by 02:30, even with an hour-long bus ride. What I see that my kids get off at 03:00, and because both my kids go to two separate schools, it's about an hour commute and they're home at 04:00, and they have to do homework and are somehow also expected to do extracurricular, which my kids don't, because I don't think that that is okay for kids that young to have so much on their plate at such a young age. When they're older and they can make the decision that they want to do an extracurricular, because I don't know, their friends are in it, whatever it is, they can make that decision. But I can see that they're so tired by the end of the school day, they really don't have any strength to do anything but just to sit in front of the TV and just not have to worry about doing anything or learning anything new. I get it. I just can't imagine how long that day is for kids so young. So I've always found this very unusual about the US schooling system because I never went through it. 

So at this time, now I can see it, especially in my younger son, he's my go getter. He wants to do everything and he really, really wants to pick up on new things, because he now has the time and the energy to be able to devote to them. I'm hoping that during this time, he'll be able to get him off his training wheels and teach my older one how to ride a bike too. That's a separate thing altogether. He doesn't know how to ride a bike, and he can't put on training wheels now, and it's going to be interesting. But slow and steady, let's see. 

The times in the evenings, which are good times for us. I guess I say it because we have the luxury to not have to worry about next job or where our next paycheck is coming from at this moment that people can bond with their families and really spend good times with them. And I'm hoping that it's only good times because sometimes when you're stuck together, it does bring out the worst in people. But I think this is one of those silver linings in this situation, even when you hear the news about so many casualties and so many people who are affected by COVID-19. But I think it's given us a real opportunity to have to have to stop and really be able to do the things that are important with the people who are important in our lives. 

So I hope I'm able to, I don't know, add a few card games to your arsenal of things to help keep kids entertained. I told a friend of mine, at this point, they're feral. I let them do what they want to do. If they want to paint the cat, they can paint the cat as long as the paint doesn't get on the walls, which of course it will. They won't paint the cat, trust me. They love the cat. At exactly 03:30, I'm done and I'm like, “You do whatever you want. I don't care.” [laughs] But it is hard, especially as a single stay at home parent or with both stay at home parents at this point, especially. But I hope everyone who's listening can have an opportunity to really slow down, re-evaluate their life, pick up a hobby, or rediscover a hobby. I really, really want to. 

I used to have lots of hobbies before my Tweedledum and Tweedledee. But even now and I'm thinking about like, “I really should unroll my--" I don't know, if any of you have done those crystal pictures or something, like the diamond pictures in which you're sticking up the diamonds on this adhesive sheath which has a paper. It's like a pink by number with gems and stuff. I bought those like six months ago. Even with the fact that I'm not running around or doing a job that I have not been able to do this and [giggles] I'm like-- I don't know when and I bought a puzzle for us. And yeah, as you can imagine, my younger one, I bought a cat puzzle and he bought an NFL puzzle, even though nobody in our house watches the NFL. I know, I'm going to have people outside my house with pitchforks and torches and stuff for that. But it's true, nobody does. But the thing is, his friends are really into it now. He's really into it and he demanded that I buy him a 1,000-piece NFL puzzle. And I got him one, but of course, it's untouched. So yeah. Okay. Here's to hoping that we can strike a balance of teaching our kids new things and then just leaving them be, so that we don't lose our minds. 

And with that, I hope we can get through this together. And please, I don't care how crazy it is, don't break the quarantine. I'm only saying this because yesterday we were out, me and my family-- I don't mind families going out for walks. Keep your distance from other people. That's fine. But we have a lake close to our housing-- I guess facility. Not facility. Housing complex. It was a party going on down there, and that's the stuff that makes me nervous. Yeah, I get it. People are tired of staying at home, not sure what to do, but I don't think that's a good idea. So please stay at home unless you really, really have to go out. And if you go out, go to open spaces, not closed spaces. Do not gather in large groups, and stay safe until we can figure this out. And with that, may peace be on you all, and hope to see you next week on hopefully a Friday, if not Thursday night in the middle of the night. Take care. 

Thank you so much for tuning in to I'm A Muslim (And That's Okay!). And if you wish to follow my social media for more updates, you can follow me on Instagram, on Facebook and on YouTube. All the links to those are in the show notes. And if you are on Apple, or on Spotify, on Podchaser, please do give my podcast a five-star rating. It really does help get me in the public eye. And if you wish to donate to support the podcast, you can do so through the PayPal link in my show notes as well. Take care.